Category Archives: Loving Others

My Thoughts – or Here we Go Again

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I was struggling with what to write about for my 3rd blog (after my helicopter ride) when I was again interrupted. I had to have an angiogram to check up on my fistula that caused the brain bleed. My fistula was gone, Praise God!!, the Dr. said that this wasn’t unusual. I come back home in good spirits and thoughts of now I just have to gain my strengh back. Then the Dr. reviewed the scan.

The Doctor found an aneurism. Oh boy, I just stepped into a whole new thing. Get a CTScan, stat. Come to York Hospital, stat. Had another MRI (did you know there are MRI’s that are like angiograms? I probably had one of those. Dr tried to fix the aneurism with embolization. Couldn’t do it. Soooo… I’ve had brain surgery. Yep, I have “railroad” tracks” up the back of my head. Aneurism was in a different place, right on the back of my head. Not a good place, if any place is good with an aneurism.

I woke up in Neuro ICU, not doing very well. The Dr. had given me Keppra, a seizure drug, as a preventative. I get it, I really do. But I don’t believe too much in preventative medication before you even know you have the thing. If I have seizures, I will talk to my Dr. about it.

Well, my husband had brain tumors, and he never really had seizures except after surgery. Keppra Rage. It even has a name. My husband wanted to kill all the doctors and nurses. I was, at least, not that bad.

I was in pain in the urinary area (it’s too complicated to explain fully) and I couldn’t make the nurses understand why I was so uncomfortable. Of course, I just got out of surgery and on pain killers. The pain killers didn’t take care of this pain. I yelled and screamed and called them all names. I was horrible. I remember that I heard a small voice that said, “you weren’t like this before.”

If you’ve read my blog from when I was helicoptered to York, you will know that I loved those guys at ICU. They were and still are my Angels. They finally did as I asked (once I explained it to them through tears) and it was such a relief.

When I was discharged, I had my son wheel me to Neuro ICU and I apologized to the nurses. Of course they didn’t want to accept an apology, I didn’t do anything wrong, but I needed to let them know that I’m not usually like that. They needed to hear that I love them, and I treated them badly. As our talk progressed, their faces had big smiles and there were a few tears in the eyes (including mine).

Nurses in the hospital deserve respect. Most of them are wonderful people with wonderful hearts. When you acknowledge that you were wrong or that what you said was hurtful, the other person can either ignore you or you may have just repaired a relationship. Say Thank You to your next service person, even if they are in a bad mood. And if you yell at someone, go back and tell them you’re sorry. Eat a bit of “crow”, be humble like the Lord has told us to be.

Meet Aunt Sarah…

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My Aunt Sarah was a hard working woman who raised four children during the depression. She was twice divorced and supported herself by being a waitress. Sarah could have a very sharp tongue if you happened on a topic of conversation that was very controversial or very sensitive for her.

We were at a family get together and the topic of waitressing came up. I innocently said that I didn’t think that was something that I could do.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH BEING A WAITRESS???!!! This was from Aunt Sarah. I stammered that there wasn’t anything wrong with being a waitress, I just didn’t think that was the type of job for me. Aunt Sarah huffed and turned to converse with another family member. I had escaped from a tongue lashing. Whew!

Sarah was sensitive about her choice of career path. How many times do we hear today that they are ONLY a waitress? (What a waste) Yes, the words in the parenthesis are implied. We do this with a lot of what we consider entry level jobs. Yes, I realize that for many people that is exactly what they are. But have you ever thought about what the world would be like without the waitresses? Without the laborers? Without the grocery clerks? Without the uber/taxi drivers? All these jobs that I’ve named (and there are a ton more I haven’t named) are jobs that are low paying but are essential to the world moving along at a good pace. Some people love these jobs and don’t see them as a jumping off point to a better paying position.

One time when I was working “temps” they called to see if I would be interested in taking a one-week job as a janitor. They needed a fill in since the person I would replace would be on vacation. I thought, why not! How hard can it be? Let me tell you, I found muscles I didn’t know I had that week and the only thing that kept me coming back every day was knowing that it was only for a week!! But I learned that most of the jobs that we sneer at are very hard jobs.

Look around and see the “small” people. The ones who are overworked and underpaid. Give them a smile and encourage them. Call them by name if there is a nametag. Say hello, good morning, how are you? Recognize them as people who are made in God’s image. God loves them as much as He loves you.

…Who Is My Neighbor?

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In my previous blog I quoted Mark 12:30-31 where Jesus says to Love God with all your heart… and to love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus was asked the question in my heading and he came back with the parable of the Good Samaritan. Most of us have heard this parable and could give a quick synopsis of it, but there are some interesting things that I’ve learned about this parable that brings it right into our time.

Do you know who Samaritans were in Jesus’s day? They were the hated, the outcasts the “dregs” of Jewish society. There was a long history between the Jews and the Samaritans, that will not go into. In the first century, Jews who were traveling from Galilee (where Jesus was based in Capernaum) to Jerusalem, they would go miles out of their way to go around Samaria. It wasn’t considered safe to travel though Samaria.

With this information in mind, let’s look at the rest of the parable. A man who was traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho (about a days walk, through some rough land) and was beaten, stripped of his clothing and robbed of all his possessions. A priest (Jewish priest from the temple) happened by but didn’t stop to help the man. A Levite (a person who served in the temple) passed by but didn’t help the man. Both of these men would have been highly esteemed by the general public in Jesus’s day. They certainly knew of the directives from God to help others that were in trouble. But they didn’t stop. I have read some commentaries regarding this and one thing that they may have been worried about was becoming “unclean”. If a jew happened to get blood on their bodies anywhere they were considered “unclean” and would have to go through the purification process before they could work in the temple. They might have not wanted to “defile” themselves by helping this person.

A Samaritan comes along and “took pity” on the man. He bandaged his wounds (using oil and wine, fairly expensive stuff) and then put the man on his own donkey. Now, think about this; this is a Samaritan with a beat-up Jew on his donkey. He could have been yelled at, or worse, if any one around him saw what he was doing. The man really had no business in helping the hurting man, but helped him anyway.

The Samaritan took the man to an inn and continued to take care of him. Just taking this man to an inn was hard for this man; the inn may have not even served Samaritans. The man needed to continue on his journey and gave the innkeeper “two denarii” to take care of him. A denarius (single) was about one days pay in Jesus’s time, so the man gave the innkeeper about two days pay. Then tells the innkeeper that when he comes back he will reimburse him for any additional charges. The Samaritan not only took care of the man, but paid to have someone to continue to help him. This was out of his pocket with no expectation of return.

We are to be like the Samaritan. Helping others without expecting anything back. Doing good things for others. Going out of our way to help someone. Loving them, regardless of who they are, what they believe or what they look like. This is what “Loving your Neighbor” looks like.

Giving Care

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I’m now noticing that when I was in the middle of caregiving that I didn’t have much time or energy to help others. I was very selfish and drawn in on myself. I was worried about getting through each day and I didn’t worry much about my neighbor.

Now I’m trying to take this attitude and turn it around, so that I can look at others and see if I can help to meet their needs. This is so hard when all I’ve ever thought about was my needs. Yes, I extended that to my husband and my children, but never outside of that circle.

 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.‘ There is no commandment greater than these.

Mark 12:30-31

As Christians we are commanded to love our God with everything that is within us and to extend that love to others. As Christians we are not only to take care of ourselves and family, but to also extend care to others. What does this look like? I’m not sure, but I know that my giving care will look different from yours. We are all called to do this. We should pray and ask what caregiving we can to today for others.