Tag Archives: Life

My Thoughts – or Here we Go Again

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I was struggling with what to write about for my 3rd blog (after my helicopter ride) when I was again interrupted. I had to have an angiogram to check up on my fistula that caused the brain bleed. My fistula was gone, Praise God!!, the Dr. said that this wasn’t unusual. I come back home in good spirits and thoughts of now I just have to gain my strengh back. Then the Dr. reviewed the scan.

The Doctor found an aneurism. Oh boy, I just stepped into a whole new thing. Get a CTScan, stat. Come to York Hospital, stat. Had another MRI (did you know there are MRI’s that are like angiograms? I probably had one of those. Dr tried to fix the aneurism with embolization. Couldn’t do it. Soooo… I’ve had brain surgery. Yep, I have “railroad” tracks” up the back of my head. Aneurism was in a different place, right on the back of my head. Not a good place, if any place is good with an aneurism.

I woke up in Neuro ICU, not doing very well. The Dr. had given me Keppra, a seizure drug, as a preventative. I get it, I really do. But I don’t believe too much in preventative medication before you even know you have the thing. If I have seizures, I will talk to my Dr. about it.

Well, my husband had brain tumors, and he never really had seizures except after surgery. Keppra Rage. It even has a name. My husband wanted to kill all the doctors and nurses. I was, at least, not that bad.

I was in pain in the urinary area (it’s too complicated to explain fully) and I couldn’t make the nurses understand why I was so uncomfortable. Of course, I just got out of surgery and on pain killers. The pain killers didn’t take care of this pain. I yelled and screamed and called them all names. I was horrible. I remember that I heard a small voice that said, “you weren’t like this before.”

If you’ve read my blog from when I was helicoptered to York, you will know that I loved those guys at ICU. They were and still are my Angels. They finally did as I asked (once I explained it to them through tears) and it was such a relief.

When I was discharged, I had my son wheel me to Neuro ICU and I apologized to the nurses. Of course they didn’t want to accept an apology, I didn’t do anything wrong, but I needed to let them know that I’m not usually like that. They needed to hear that I love them, and I treated them badly. As our talk progressed, their faces had big smiles and there were a few tears in the eyes (including mine).

Nurses in the hospital deserve respect. Most of them are wonderful people with wonderful hearts. When you acknowledge that you were wrong or that what you said was hurtful, the other person can either ignore you or you may have just repaired a relationship. Say Thank You to your next service person, even if they are in a bad mood. And if you yell at someone, go back and tell them you’re sorry. Eat a bit of “crow”, be humble like the Lord has told us to be.

Meet Aunt Sarah…

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My Aunt Sarah was a hard working woman who raised four children during the depression. She was twice divorced and supported herself by being a waitress. Sarah could have a very sharp tongue if you happened on a topic of conversation that was very controversial or very sensitive for her.

We were at a family get together and the topic of waitressing came up. I innocently said that I didn’t think that was something that I could do.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH BEING A WAITRESS???!!! This was from Aunt Sarah. I stammered that there wasn’t anything wrong with being a waitress, I just didn’t think that was the type of job for me. Aunt Sarah huffed and turned to converse with another family member. I had escaped from a tongue lashing. Whew!

Sarah was sensitive about her choice of career path. How many times do we hear today that they are ONLY a waitress? (What a waste) Yes, the words in the parenthesis are implied. We do this with a lot of what we consider entry level jobs. Yes, I realize that for many people that is exactly what they are. But have you ever thought about what the world would be like without the waitresses? Without the laborers? Without the grocery clerks? Without the uber/taxi drivers? All these jobs that I’ve named (and there are a ton more I haven’t named) are jobs that are low paying but are essential to the world moving along at a good pace. Some people love these jobs and don’t see them as a jumping off point to a better paying position.

One time when I was working “temps” they called to see if I would be interested in taking a one-week job as a janitor. They needed a fill in since the person I would replace would be on vacation. I thought, why not! How hard can it be? Let me tell you, I found muscles I didn’t know I had that week and the only thing that kept me coming back every day was knowing that it was only for a week!! But I learned that most of the jobs that we sneer at are very hard jobs.

Look around and see the “small” people. The ones who are overworked and underpaid. Give them a smile and encourage them. Call them by name if there is a nametag. Say hello, good morning, how are you? Recognize them as people who are made in God’s image. God loves them as much as He loves you.

Blessings

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“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

When I was a young christian I thought if I believed in God, then all my troubles will be taken away and life would be wonderful all the time. So when trouble did come (and it seemed to come a lot!) I thought I didn’t have enough faith or I was doing something wrong. When I got married I thought our life would be easy, wonderful, you know, the white picket fence, wholesome, beautiful family life. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Life has been so hard, so tough. There have been many times I’ve just wanted to give up and walk away. But as I look back, I can see that those tough times are what have made me the person I am today. People have told me that I’m a “strong” person to have weathered all that I’ve been through. I’d like to think that I’ve been teachable. I learned that when you face hard times is when when you grow, if you allow it.

Did you know that Jesus said we’d have trouble? It’s right there in John 16. He also says to take heart because He has overcome the world. Let your troubles be blessings.

This song, which came out quite a few years ago, still touches me. Laura Story wrote this song after her husband was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor, and all the stress and strife that would go along with that. All the changes (personality and otherwise) that happened. He is still living and thriving, but their lives have been changed by the diagnosis. I hope that this song will touch you as well.